Tutu

Whats Up,
Readers!!

My sincere apologies for not having posted in so long.Alotta shit went down.of which i will be sharing with you next week.
Now during my festives I had somewhat a "summer romance" .
And here is some of what i felt.

                       

Doesnt it look like i drink blood Of virgin children.

I woke up this morning and wrote. I had to.
I dreamed about you during the early hours of the morning, well actually at the break of dawn.

Even though I know, NOW you hate me.
Even though I know your family has turned you against me.
Even though your numerous cries of lies filled my heart with hope.
All knowing of your sneaky ways, I gave in. I was at your mercy.
Even though I knew deep down that your lips were the lips of a harlot.
I still kissed them.
Even though I knew your hugs were open to any human being with a bosom, I still hugged you.
At that moment I felt "loved".
Accepted, wanted and needed in an affectionate fashion.
Even though you told me you loved me, and I knew you've uttered those words a thousand times to your perpetual "Female Aquintances".
I returned the statement.
Not because I did love you TuTu, but because I too wanted to feel the warmth of telling someone I love them.
Even though I am not in love with you, but rather at the sweet idea of being in love. I reciprocated those sweet words, because I know my fate.
That.
In actuality, I am unlovable.

Even though I knew very well that my fate as a Forever Alone was carved into stone far before the beginning of time.
I fell for you.
TuTu.
Again.
Since we had an unfinished romance from back when I was 13, you 14.
Even though I knew it would hurt when I left you in Cape Town. I knew I would come back to my rut.
You would flee once more to your infinite bitches on call.
And I would be here.
In bed alone. Missing your fake hugs and affection.

Even thought your family did me wrong.
I still dream about you. As if desperately searching for a place in my mind where we can be as I want us to be.

Another Heart-Ache,
Another Failed Romance.

-GranDaD