The Doing

Me. In a nutshell.

  

Welcome. 

Saturday evening. Still out, as if nature had held her breath knowing what was to come.
I was home alone. Enough time to think and rethink, then analyze those thoughts and think some more. If I haven't been quite honest with you, you know very well that my mind is the very switch to my destruction. 
The faint sound of a ringing mobile phone on the other end. A mobile phone that's cry is deliberately being ignored. That what my mind concludes, at least. Nobody wants to talk to me. I have become a burden to those I have called "friend". My sources of refuge from this formidable life I live have turned their heels on me and left the vultures to pick at my flesh until the ferocious pain makes its may from the outside in. To collide with its already existent brethren. He who has lived, eaten and slept with me for these unbearable days.
The Plan.
Get out. I have to leave, I have to feel wanted once more. My perpetual loneliness must come to an end. I cannot. Tonight, I must leave. 9pm already. No plans made of to whom I am going to and where. But what I know, is that my head shall not rest one more night on the pillow that banks my tears.
Enough is enough.
I have reached, possibly even far exceed the tolerance that I have trained myself to stomach.
This place I call home is sucking my life force by the minute. Tears don't seem to comfort me any long. Nothing, nothing can ever sooth this pain.

I inform them that I am leaving. They decide that tonight, is the appropriate time to call me out. 
Scatter of emotions right there and then. If I had been cast in a motion picture as the leading actress, at that very moment I would have called cut. Just a moment to gather the few pieces of my heart, and head and sleep over it. Quite a fantasy.

Unfortunately though, I was in actual time and this performance was happening live.

I lost it. I never quite "lose" it so this was new to me as well. I keep shit in, that's just who I am.
Drunk with anger I began to call them out, my parents. Cursing the day the Lord breathed life into me. Blaming them for not having offed me in infancy. All the while gathering my shit. Leaving. Not knowing where to go, but leaving nonetheless.

Gone.
Jubilance awaits. 

Left that shit behind me.
Out
-Gran(^•^)Dad